Hello My Love Bugs,
In my four years of Relationship and Intimacy Coaching, I have always expressed the importance of communication in the bedroom. Not everyone is receptive to this fact, but it is a necessary quality.
Ladies and Gents, answer me this: Have you ever been with your significant other and they did something sexually that you were not into?
When this first happened to me, my first thought was to immediately tell them… “No, no. I don’t like that.” You know he actually got mad? Then, when I asked him why he thought I would like it… he said “Well, the last person I was with did.” Hahaha
Oh boy! Can I tell you that both sexes actually do this? Without talking to their mates about their likes and dislikes, we actually just move forward as if we are not with a different person.
Now, I am NOT saying that EVERYONE is like this. Just so we are clear. Some men and women understand that sexual encounters with different people will be just that… Different! But some refuse to believe that not all women like having their nipples fondled or all men don’t like their balls licked. We just have to face that fact.
That is why having a conversation with your mate about any type of bedroom play is critical! Sex is important, but it is more important HOW someone receives sex and if they’ll enjoy it with a particular person.
When communicating with your partner in the sack, there are some things you can try to get your partner to open up.
- Ask your partner if they know how they do or do not like to be touched. There are times where men and women alike go without knowing what they actually like sexually! Sometimes that has been brought on by a trauma. Other times, that person just hasn’t explored themselves (or themselves with other people) to know what they truly like! (That’s another blog all together!)
- Explore your partners body. If your partner knows, that is great! Start exploring and get comfortable with their body. Explore new areas, unless they have already told you not to, and continue to heighten the experience. If your partner doesn’t know, then you can start from the beginning! Explore their body and ask them how it makes them feel and if they like it. A good way to start this process is Erotic Massage. This explores all the creases of the body and helps to identify what makes your partner ooh and aah!
You should also know that I am talking about someone you have been spending more time with. I’m not talking about telling that Tinder date how you like to be touched and going in depth about your sexual experiences. I mean, you can if you want… but for one night stand purposes, it isn’t all that necessary.
Talk to your partner about what you strive for during sex and how you are satisfied from beginning to end.
By communicating this information, you will see how much more you and your partner enjoy sex!
Do you and your partner currently communicate about what things you like in the bedroom? If so, how did it enhance the experience?